Lessons From Rehab #4: NEVER OVERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY

"The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming,

but on our own readiness to receive him;

Not on the chance of his not attacking,

but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."

- Sun Tzu

Yesterday we realized the importance of the principle, "Never Underestimate Your Enemy."  Today I will say that the opposite is also true: never OVERestimate your enemy either.  Remember, success requires that we walk in the truth, and what is the truth?  Truth is simply, reality.  Honesty.  Calling things what they are.  So while it may be true that my enemy is strong and able to "overpower me," that does not mean he has "power over" me.

He might be able to you overpower you, but he does not have power over you...unless you give it.

If you haven't done so yet, name them.  Name your opponents.  Maybe your enemy is fear.  Maybe it is anger.  Maybe it is lack of trust, gossip, a lying tongue, pride, jealousy, greed, lust, unhealthy or destructive habits.  Maybe, if you're like me, you have a whole string of opponents lining up one by one to take you down.  Though these opponents may have the strength to overpower you, but they do not have to have power over you.  They only have the power you give them.

In Matthew 4:1-11, when Jesus was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness, Satan tried to take power over Jesus.  How did he attempt this?  By telling Jesus to do four things:

1. Forget Who Your Father Is  ("If you are the Son of God...")

2. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands ("...tell these stones to become bread.")

3. Throw Yourself Down

4. Bow to me

Do you see it?  The only power Satan had was the ability to influence Jesus to give up or give in.  He had to get Jesus to concede HIS strength in order to have the ability to overpower Him.  You are stronger than you think.

"IF you are the Son of God..."

Today, know who your Father is.  IF you are a son or daughter of God, THEN the enemy has no power over you; he can only overpower you when:

You forget who you are and whose you are.

You try to take matters into your own hands rather than walking in God's time and God's way.

You throw yourself down (give up or give in). 

You bow to the enemy, letting him become your master.

Jesus told us that if we are going to enter His kingdom, we must become like little children.  One thing that kids LOVE to say is, "You're not the boss of me!"  Or even better, "You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my father!"  Today, when the enemy tries to sneak up and lure us to bow, to concede our strength and authority as sons and daughters of God, let us fight with the guts of a child and remind him:

"You're not the boss of me.  You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my Father."

If you are feeling weary, weak and overpowered today, rest in the strength of your Father ("My Dad's bigger than your dad!" :)  Remember that HE is your Ally and not your enemy.  HE is for you and not against you.  Acknowledge that those opponents in your life are strong; don't underestimate them.  But don't overestimate them either - they are not the boss of you.  

In Psalm 42, David wrote: "Why are you downcast, O my soul?  And why are you disquieted within me?  Hope in God!  For yet shall I praise Him, the hope of my countenance and my God."  It's as if the Psalmist, though suffering, had a sobering moment and asked himself, "What are you crying about?  REMEMBER JESUS!"  

Remember Jesus.  You are not alone.  Mark 1:13 says that when Jesus was in the wilderness, being tempted by Satan and with the wild beasts, "angels were ministering to Him."  He was not alone... and you are not alone.  He is with you.  He is ALWAYS still with you (Ps. 139:18).

"The Lord is on my side; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

The Lord is with me; He is my helper.

I will look in triumph on my enemies."

- Psalm 118:6-7

Lessons From Rehab #3: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY

"Know your enemy and know yourself 
and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster."

- Sun Tzu

It is often said in church circles, "Don't give the devil too much credit," and I would agree.  But I would also say the opposite is true: don't give him too little credit either.  Whether the "opponents" in your life are Satan himself, or other issues, habits and problems, be careful that you don't underestimate them.  Don't belittle them.  Don't "just..." them:

"I'll just have one (more) drink..."

"It's just a movie; it's not like I'm doing it."

"I'll just put it on my credit card.  I'll pay it off right away."

"Oops, guess I blew that.  I'll just start over tomorrow."

If you struggle with boundaries in sexuality, then don't put yourself in situations where it feels nearly impossible to say "No."  If you struggle with alcohol, don't belittle the power of "just one drink."  If you have "kicked the habit" in some area of your life, don't buy into the lie of "just one last time" or "I'll start over tomorrow."

The ancient military master Sun Tzu says it this way: "Carefully compare the opposing army with your own, so that you may know where strength is superabundant and where it is deficient."  

The principle of "Never Underestimate Your Enemy" is not a matter of living out a defeatist mentality.  It is a matter of facing reality.  Truth is simply, reality.  There is positive truth, and there is negative truth, but either way, if it is real, if it is honest, then it is true.  Learning not to underestimate our enemies means learning to say what is true of them.  It means calling it like it is and acknowledging their level of strength.  It means not belittling them or demeaning them, but admitting it: I have an enemy, and it is powerful.  I have met my match.


NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY:


"The general who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand.  Thus do many calculations lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat: how much more no calculation at all!  It is by attention to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose." (Sun Tzu)

In Job 1:6-7, we see that when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, "Satan came also among them."  Then, "The Lord said to Satan, 'From where have you come?'  Then Satan answered the Lord and said, 'From roaming about on the earth and walking to and fro on it.'"  My dad often encourages me by reminding me, "God is always working."  It's true that God is always working - and so is Satan.  So, expect attack.  Expect that when you feel strong, he will hunt for a way to make you weak.  Expect that when you feel weak, he will find a way to take advantage of that weakness.  Even Jesus was not exempt:

"And He was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan; and He was with the wild animals..." (Mark 1:13)

In the wilderness.   Being tempted by Satan.  With the wild animals.

Never underestimate your enemy.  


Expect attack.  


Be prepared for him.  

WHEN temptation comes, don't be caught off guard or be deceived into rationalizing it or "just"-ing it.  Call it what it is.  RESPECT it.  Then prepare AHEAD of time to win.  If it is stronger than you, then don't arm wrestle with it.  The best way to beat an MMA fighter is not to get in the cage with him in the first place.

"Be alert and of sober mind. 

 Your enemy the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour.

Resist him, standing firm in the faith...

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

After you have suffered a little while,

Will Himself restore you and make you strong,

firm and steadfast."

- 1 Peter 5:8-10  

Lessons From Rehab #2: KNOW YOUR ALLIES

"Joab said, 'If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me.  But if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will help you.  Be strong, and let us use our strength for our people and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to Him."  (1 Chronicles 19:12-13)

KNOW YOUR ALLIES:

Just as it is important for us to "know our enemies" in life, it is equally as important to know our allies.  These are our lifelines - those people, places, things, songs, verses, etc. that have a sort of saving grace to them when we feel like we are slipping.  The thing about allies is that you have to make them and you have to use them in order for them to be of any benefit.  You have to build some sort of relationship through which you can reach out and ask for help.  Sometimes we are just sitting around waiting for others to come "find" us and "fix" us when we're struggling, but in reality, we have to learn the humility to speak up, reach out and ask for help.   

These allies may be people in your life that are a source of restoration to you.  For instance, I have a certain group of girl friends (scattered all around the U.S., nonetheless) that have become more than friends, but sisters to me.  In fact, I like to call them my "Drinking Buddies," not because we go out getting wasted all the time, but because when God pours a certain "cup" for me to drink in life, these are the ones that will make sure I'm not drinking alone.  Whether in sorrow or in joy, I know I'm not alone.  

When stuck in a rut after months of heartbreak, one of these girls started trying to teach me how to dance (hip hop) just because she knew it would make me laugh (it did)...LIFELINE.  

When I'm about to make a really stupid decision, or my heart is "running away with me" and leaving my head in the dust, another of these friends has the gift of "talking me down from the ledge."  She helps me to think through what is the wise thing to do, what is the right thing at the right time in the right way...LIFELINE.  

Every one of these girls have a special way of telling me the truth (like it or not); of reminding me who I am, what I am capable of, what GOD is capable of and all the good that life still holds for me...LIFELINES.

In too many ways to count, they are a "saving grace" to me, from the Master Himself.  We need people we can call and be honest with; those people to whom we can admit:

I'm losing it.

I want to cut myself.

I got drunk again this morning.

I went too far on my date last night.

I cannot stop looking at these websites.

My parents are talking about a getting a divorce.

I don't know where my life is going, and I'm feeling hopeless.

Whatever your "enemy" is, remember that you also have allies.  Consider that "Allies" can be:

1. People - "Drinking Buddies" :)

2. Places - literally, "safe places," where you can not only "escape," but find rejuvenation.  (Church, coffee shops, bookstores, the gym, parks, nature trails, the beach, favorite spots that have a restorative nature for you).

3. Songs - We all have them: "Oh, this is my song!"  Music can be an ally in that it fills us with hope, strength and the ability to endure when we feel weak.  Whether individual songs or kick-butt playlists, fill your heart, mind and spirit with strength.  Make an ally of your itunes.

4. Scriptures - "The Word of God is living and active."  It really is!  Whether you love reading the Bible for hours or finding one verse in a few minutes, you WILL find an ally in the Word of God... IF you read it.  Scripture is full of the best EVER pep-talks, locker room speeches, words of comfort, truth, correction, hope and LIFE.  READ IT.

5. Spiritual Disciplines - Sabbath, Silence, Rest, Prayer, Worship, Fasting, Scripture Reading... these all have a redemptive and restorative power in our lives.  Spiritual disciplines are not your enemy, they are your ally.  This is not a "should" issue, it's a "life" issue.  It's not that you "should" do these things, but that if you do them, you will find strength, truth and life.  

6. SAVIOR...

The greatest Ally of all is God Himself.  So often when we're struggling, we feel like God is suddenly against us, opposed to us.  This is called "the wages of sin."  Sin tells us that we don't belong with God.  Salvation tells us, "Yes you do."  So a Savior set out to make a way for us when we were separated.  He took care of it; "it is finished."  When the wages of sin (weakness, failure, struggles) tell you that you don't belong with God, or that you have to "fix" yourself before returning to Him, remember again that, "while we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us."  Greatest Ally EVER.  We messed up, and He said, "I've got this."  Do not allow yourself to be deceived into thinking that because you are less than perfect, you don't belong with Him.  It is BECAUSE you are less than perfect that He came for you.

HE CAME FOR YOU... 

LIFELINE.

Today if you need the strength of an Ally, find John 14-17 and read it... best pep talk from Jesus in the whole Bible.  Read it and re-read it.  Then remember that God is for you and not against you.  Remember it:

GOD IS FOR YOU AND NOT AGAINST YOU.

He is your Ally, not your enemy.

Today, if you feel like you are sinking: speak up, reach out and ask for help.  You are not alone...

"Who rises up for me against the wicked?

Who stands up for me against evildoers?

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, 'My foot slips,' Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

- Psalm 94:16-19

Lessons From Rehab #1: KNOW YOUR ENEMY

When girls came to Teen Challenge, one of the first things we would do together in a counseling session was set goals through a treatment plan.  Ah, goal-setting.  What is it about setting goals that makes us feel like a failure before we even start?  It's as if the moment we start writing them down (or maybe we don't even get that far), something inside of us sighs, "I can't do this.  I want to do this, but I know I won't."  Then we sort of saunter off in a defeated "whatever" mentality, comforting ourselves with whatever makes us feel good at the moment and helps us to forget that we are, yet again, settling for less than we are capable of and far less than we were created to be.  

Been there.

Done that.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

Yes, it often is this way.  But it doesn't have to be.  What is the difference between the two?  Between winning and losing?  Between succeeding and settling?  Well, in the famous words from our friends at Nike: "Just Do It."  We can know all the right information but if we don't do it and keep doing it, we are destined to fail every single time.  Notice I didn't only say "do it," but I said "keep doing it."  If there is anything I have learned after 8 years working in recovery, it is that consistency is key.  Drs. Cloud and Townsend (of Boundaries, Helping People Grow, etc.) say it like this: "Learn to trust the growth process."  Trust it.  That means do it and keep doing it even when you don't see the results you want to see when you want to see them.  TRUST the process and KEEP doing what you know to do in the mean time.

If we are going to succeed in succeeding, then we have to start with Step One.  Step One in any 12-Step program is often misquoted as "Admit You Have a Problem."  But this actually is not the first step in the 12 Steps.  Admitting you have a problem is right-on.  For sure, you've got to come to a point of being able to say, "I have a problem with this..." but we've got to take it further.  Step One goes on to say something much more profound; something much harder to confess than, "I have a problem."  Step One involves "Admitting Powerlessness."  Step One says I have a problem, AND I admit that this thing is stronger than me.  I admit that if I were to get into an arm-wrestling match with this issue, it would beat me every time.  This is not a depressing, defeating place to be.  There is wisdom in calling things what they are; victory can only be found when we truly, undeniably know our opponent.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY:

Paul might call it a "thorn in the flesh."  Psychology may term them your "issues."  Greek mythology would label it your "Achilles Heel."  Achilles was known to be invincible; an undefeated and undefeatable warrior.  But he met his own death when Achilles was struck in the heel by the tip of a poisoned arrow.  "Oh how the mighty have fallen..."  Wikipedia describes the contemporary phrase, "Achilles heel," as a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall.  

What is (are) your Achilles heel(s) in life?

When the girls at TC first filled out their treatment plans, we would stop at a section called "Problem Areas."  Here we would get real and ask for authenticity.  Take the mask off, drop the excuses and rationalizations and tell me: What are you here for?  What's the problem?  

As girls got courageous enough to tell the truth, they would begin to confess things in writing, things like: "Drugs.  Cutting myself.  Alcohol.  Sex.  Lying.  Anger.  Depression" and more.  Sometimes it was hard to name those things; always it was vulnerable.  But we did it; together, we did it.  We decided we were going to work together toward a new life, a better life, and that meant we had to start with one thing: naming our enemies.  If she was going to succeed, each student had to call it what it is, to put a name to it and determine to overcome.  We didn't defeat their "issues" in a day, a month, or even in that year or more the girls lived with us at TC.  In fact, I can tell you that every single one of those girls is still figuring out how to live the truths they learned at TC every day.  But many have come a long, LONG way from that first day when we sat down, pen in hand with a treatment plan and asked the question, "So what's the problem?"  

We named it.

The road to a better life started when we named it.

I like to call this principle, "Know Your Enemy."  It's as simple as giving it a name.  It means that we stop belittling ourselves or our issues by pretending they don't exist or they don't matter.  We confess that they exist, we put a name to them, and we acknowledge that these things have the power to bring us to our knees, settling for less than who we truly are.  

Today, I will not tell you to be completely over your issues.  I will not tell you that you won't lose your temper again or that you will wake up tomorrow morning to discover you've magically lost those extra pounds that have been hounding you for years.  I will tell you that you can trust the growth process and you can move toward better one day at a time, one choice at a time, one success or even one failure at a time.  But it all starts with knowing your enemy.

King David knew his enemies.  When he failed, he did not deny it or rationalize it.  He called it what it was.  In Psalm 51 he confessed, "But I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me."  This is not a defeatist mentality: it is a wisdom.  He knew his weakness, he put a name to it and surrendered it to God, asking for help one day at a time.  

So to get started, today, know your enemy.  Name it.  What is the problem?  In your life, what has the power to cause you to settle for less than you were created to be?  Uncontrolled anger?  Unhealthy habits?  Relationships?  Boundaries?  Whatever it is, name it, and you are taking the first step in the right direction.

You CAN make it to February without having to say, "Oh well, I guess there's still next year."  

Just start with TODAY.

One day at a time, you CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who gives you strength.

Let's Skip the "I'll Do Better Next Year's"

While in Swaziland, I was asked to do a teaching for a community leadership program* on the challenge of "Re-Entry."  Re-entry is the idea of heading back into the "real world" after considerable time away in a group or community living atmosphere.  After 8 years with Teen Challenge, yeah, I guess I have a lot to say about re-entry, but I had never really compiled these thoughts on paper before.  The more I have looked them over, the more I've realized these are principles not only for success after rehab or discipleship programs, but for the daily grind that each of us face from day to day.  

So, over the next two weeks, I'll be posting these re-entry notes as daily principles for success in 2012 (and beyond).  Unfortunately, as usual, "it only works if you do it."  Whatever your goals or desires for 2012, I hope these are both inspirational and challenging truths for you in the first few weeks of this new year.  

Here's to not reaching February already moaning, "Oh well, I guess I'll do better next year."

You CAN make it to February.

Just start with today.

"Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,

CONTINUE to LIVE in Him."

- Colossians 2:6

*Global Leadership Academy is the internship extension of Children's Cup in Swaziland, southern Africa.  To find out more, visit www.childrenscup.org.  

Above and Beyond

Not too long ago, the beloved holiday called "Christmas" bore a bit of a bite for the Gentry family.  Sure we loved Christmas and enjoyed family time together, but seeing children so excited in the holiday season often only reminded us that our own prayers for children were going unanswered.  Though married for 15 years, and with no reasonable explanation, my brother and sister-in-law struggled through the unbearable pain of infertility.  Three years ago, as I read the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus, I came across a verse that rang true in my own soul:

"Blessed is she that believed, 

for there shall be a performance of those things 

spoken to her of the Lord."  

I read this verse and thought of my sister-in-law, Trudi, suffering through years of infertility.  I thought of the desires of my own heart that seemed to have been shelved by the very God who promised to fulfill them.  I thought of friends and family struggling through their own questions, seasons of waiting and wondering, "Where is God in the midst of this?"  

We all have our questions; those unanswered 'problems' so it seems, when we wonder if God has forgotten us.  "Has God forgotten to be faithful?" David wrote.  Even the great psalmist walked these roads.    

Tonight I sat through a candelight service, just as I have every other Christmas Eve these past 31 years.  But tonight, something about this, "God with us" Child moved me on a deeper level than ever before, because tonight, I sang "Silent Night" and "O Holy Night" holding a candle with my miracle neice Emma, now 2 1/2 years old.  I watched her hold a candle high and heard her finish the song with a soft whisper: "I love You, Jesus."  After 15 years of praying and waiting, God gave us Emma and that verse sang again in my soul at her birth: 

"Blessed is she that believed,

 for there shall be a performance of those things 

spoken to her of the Lord."

As if that weren't enough, tonight that verse hit a new note, when I didn't only see my sweet Emma beside me in her momma Trudi's arms.  Towering beside me, tall and strong, stood my big brother (the Batman), holding 4 month old Everett, who had just dozed off to sleep as we began to sing, "Silent Night."  Tough Todd and little sister Tara exchanged a glance and a whimpered lip, followed by a silent "Uh huh huh huhhhh..." realizing the precious moment that had just graced us.  In Emma and Evvie tonight, I understood a little bit better what the phrase "above and beyond" means - this gracious, generous God of ours is not only able, but LOVES to give "above and beyond all we could ever ask or imagine."

We were happy with Emma.  We were ELATED with Emma.  After so many years of waiting and wondering, what a miracle she is.  Then the Lord surprised us - oh, He is full of surprises - and He gifted us with this beautiful baby boy named Everett Cash, and somehow through the faces, noises and personalities of these two little children, all of our eyes are turned back upon Jesus.  Through them, we look full into HIS wonderful face, and all these earthly things really do grow strangely dim in the light - the LIGHT - of His glory and grace.  He is so full of grace.

This Christmas, I rest in the grace, the goodness and the greatness of my God, my Friend, my Savior, my Love who has set His heart on me, and I am setting my heart - all over again, as if for the first time - on Him... on HIM.  Grateful for His good gifts, my heart is set back upon the Giver, who knows and cares deeply for me - and for you.

Whatever your question, concern or unknown this holiday season, He is with you and is for you.  He is your Ally and not your enemy.  Seeking Him and His kingdom first, you will find His goodness in this land of the living... and maybe (undoubtedly) a few surprises along the way.  In the meantime, just turn your eyes upon Jesus.  

By His grace, may it be said of you, too: Blessed are you that believed, for there shall be a performance of those things spoken to you of the Lord... in HIS time.  

Remember, "He makes all things beautiful in HIS time..." 

ALL things.

Believing...

TG

Just Friends

I barely knew what hit me.  I was sitting in church with some of my favorite guys and girls, young interns in a discipleship and leadership academy here in Swaziland.  An elderly white preacher from the states stood before us speaking on the love of God.  “The Love of God...”  One of my favorite topics.  The preacher began to share the idea that one manifestation of love is giving, and we reflected on verses like John 3:16 as some vocally affirmed the thought with “Amens.”  The white preacher from the states then went on to explain that we cannot really understand this concept (you know, how “God so loved that He gave...”) until we are put in a position of neediness; when we are the ones who have nothing, and yet we find that in great love and grace, someone who has more than us gives to us what we could never give to them in return.  

I should have seen it coming.  I should have seen it, but I didn’t.  So when the white preacher from the states asked all of the non-Swazis in the crowd to stand - I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING.  In a moment of awkward obedience, the white preacher from the states asked every missionary and visiting guest to stand to their feet, and then the white preacher from the states asked all of the Swazis (aka, the black people) in the audience to applaud what was basically a sea of white people who he was apparently now using as a visual to drive home his point: God loved so much that He gave... 

Just like we, the white people, loved you poor black Swazis so much that we gave?  

We came to you, we sacrificed to serve you, because we love you.  

So now, Swazis... applaud us?  

Applaud the white people from the states that loved you so much that they gave... ?

I was mortified.  As soon as I heard the word “applaud,” I shot back down to my seat and nestled as close to my Swazi friends as possible.  I hoped they knew that I didn’t feel this way about them or even myself.  I didn’t feel that I was better than them, or that they were soooo blessed that I came to them.  I hoped they understood that I understand: I am not the Messiah.  “What are you doing?!?” I thought.  “The last thing I came here to do is to separate myself from these people.”  Well-intentioned or not, this was one of the most degrading, humiliating, missing-the-point moments I’ve ever experienced in church.  

That night I wondered if my Swazi friends were as irritated as I was at this man’s incredibly poor choice of illustration.  Maybe I was feeling offended for them when they didn’t even take offense themselves.  I could only hope that the moment quickly came and went without taking root in their hearts.  As I lay in bed that night, I thought about what was making me so angry.  I realized that somewhere along the way, I grew very, very weary of applause.  I can’t say I am so holy or pure hearted that I don’t sometimes feel that lure for ovations and praise.  I do.  But beneath it all, something inside of me burns to still the applause, pull down the curtains and hide behind that very love of God.  I don’t want to be seen or noticed or applauded.  I don’t need to be applauded.  I need to be like Jesus.  Applause insinuates that I’ve done something extraordinary, something note-worthy.  But things that are natural; things that are obvious don’t gain applause.  And loving like Jesus should be natural; it should be obvious, not a great surprise, and certainly not applause-worthy.  In fact, it’s something more like cross-worthy.  

Still, I wondered more and more, why was I so heated over this stand-ovation for the sea of whites and their “great gift of love?”  I soon remembered a passage of Scripture that had recently struck me in a profound way.  It was sandwiched in one of those “I can probably just skip this part” sections.  1 Chronicles 27 details a list of the leaders of the tribes of Israel, saying things like, these people were over the herds, and these people were over the oil and the vineyards; these people were over the donkeys and these people were stewards over the King’s property.  It goes on to say in verses 32-34:

“Jonathan, David’s uncle, was a counselor, being a man of understanding and a scribe.  He and Jehiel the son of Hachmoni attended the King’s sons.  Ahithophel was the King’s counselor, and Husha the Archite was the King’s friend.  Ahithophel was succeeded by Jehoida the son of Benaiah, and Abiathar.  Joab was commander of the King’s army.”

How important is friendship?  So important that as Scripture lists the names and duties of those most important to the work and health of the King, they make sure not to fail to mention the one who was simply the King’s friend.  Placed purposefully between the mention of the King’s counselor and the commander of the King’s army, we find the quiet, humble statement: “...and Husha the Archite was the King’s friend.”

I can hear the important others asking Husha now: “What are you over?”  And Husha responds, “What am I over?  I am the king’s friend.  I am not over anything; I am beside.”

For the past 9 years of ministry, I have been “over” a lot of things and a lot of people.  It has been good, beautiful, redemptive, and I have loved the privilege of those days.  But returning to southern Africa this year, I felt a subtle urge not to be over anyone, but simply to be beside.  As I prepared for this trip, I asked the Lord to lead me wherever He saw most fit; all I hoped was that He let me build genuine relationships with people, walking and growing together one day at a time.  After three months in Swaziland, I couldn’t be more thankful to look around me and discover: the Lord brought me here, not to be a counselor or a commander, but to be a friend.  

And I don’t need any applause for that.

Let's talk about you...

When serving others, check the status of your own heart.  Knowingly or unknowingly, are you serving from an attitude of superiority?  If you were to get really honest with yourself, do you somehow feel that you are doing people a favor by loving them?  Let us never forget the greatest favor that was done for us.  The Father so loved that He gave His only Son to come and be Emmanuel to us - God is with us.  God is beside us.  He gave us, forever, a Friend.  Wherever God has placed you today, ask Him to reveal how you might serve beside like Jesus.  Beware, though: applause runs short under the weight of this cross, and rightfully so.  After all, it’s only natural...

There is great value in this ministry of friendship; this gift of “beside.”  Isn’t it lovely that when Jesus came to us in the flesh, He said, “I do not now call you servants, but I call you friends.”*  He, too, embraced the calling that stands beside. 

Now Jesus, make us friends like You...

*John 15:15