Lessons From Rehab #5: TURN ATTACK INTO AWAKENING

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant 

and fill him with terrible resolve."

- Isoroku Yamamoto

Today I feel like quitting.  I've just gotten started, and I already want to give up.  I've got some big resolutions for this new year.  Not resolutions for the sake of "New Year Resolutions," but for the sake of LIFE - for progress, growth, health and joy.  Steps I need to take, challenges I need to embrace; battles to fight and mountains to climb.  I JUST started my Masters degree this week (full-time, on campus).  In addition, I have to get a new job - which sort of leaves me looking forward to a new arena for growth, but also hesitant about the "unknown" of a new work place after so many years with a staff and students that I LOVED at my prior job.  I'm working hard and staying focused to build new, healthier habits into my life and remain consistent in them.  I have been strong, and I have been excited.  It's a new season, it's a new day...

But today I feel weak.

Today I feel like crying.

Today, when I look at that mountain of "To Do's" in front of me, I feel small...

Really, REALLY small.

Already I hear the slightest whisper of "I can't do this," beginning to creep up within.  Oh, how often we are our own worst enemies.  Nothing bad has happened; I have not even begun to have homework, other than some reading to do.  And I already feel like "I can't" do this?  I KNOW that I can do this, and I know that I want to do this.  So what am I feeling here and why?

At the risk of sounding SUPER spiritual here, I'm going to go ahead and label this feeling "Attack."  If you're picturing a little devil with horns on his head, just slow down for a minute.  Sure, attack in our lives may be the work of the enemy.  But other times, we simply suffer the all-too-common attacks of our own emotions, insecurities, worries and fears.  For now, I'd say I'm just beginning to face the attack of the "heebie-geebies" myself.  Yup, FEAR.  Fear of failure.  Fear of changing my identity.  Fear of giving a lot and gaining little in return.  Fear of not seeing results fast enough.  Fear of not seeing results at all.  Fear of waiting.  Fear of trying.  Fear of effort.  Fear of stress.  Fear of sacrifice.  Fear of unhappiness.

Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear.

How often do we find ourselves quitting before we even get going, all because of some sort of "attack" that we allowed to intimidate us toward defeat?  What I will challenge you with today is a challenge for myself: WHEN attack comes, turn attack into awakening.  Make it work for you and not against you.  Here's an example:

On December 7, 1941, Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese, and why?  Because America had not yet begun to fight, and the Japanese military wanted to ensure that wouldn't change.  Pearl Harbor was intended to be a preventive measure, intimidating the U.S. to stay out of World War II.  "Don't get involved.  You will fail.  You will sacrifice only to suffer.  You will give much and you will lose.  The cost is not worth the fight.  Stay passive.  Keep out."  But history tells us that the bombing of Pearl Harbor had quite the opposite effect.  While the U.S. had "kept out" of the war to this point, Pearl Harbor's attack only served to incite the sleepy nation to rise, fight and win.  After the attack on December 7th, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto of the Japanese naval fleet is quoted as saying:

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with terrible resolve."  

And that's exactly what happened.  So WHEN attack comes, what will you do with it?  WHEN you feel like quitting, WHEN your mind plays tricks on you and your emotions are taking over, how will you respond?  Will you find a cozy corner in life to hide away in safety?  Or will you embrace the risk, rise to the challenge, move forward with resolve and overcome?  

Today after a job interview (which went very well even), I drove home with a knot in my throat and whispered out loud, "I can't do this."  Thankfully, quickly I remembered this principle: TURN ATTACK INTO AWAKENING.  Then, since I needed a good pep-talk, and no one was around to give me one, I spoke back to myself with resolve: "You CAN and you WILL."  

I CAN and I WILL.

I CAN do all things through CHRIST who gives me strength.

I WILL look in triumph on my enemies.

Jesus said in John 14:29, "I have told you before it takes place, so that when it does take place, you may believe."  Maybe you feel strong today.  But attack will come.  It WILL come.  So expect it.  Be ready for it.  Do not be deceived or intimidated by it.  REMAIN in Christ who gives you strength and RESOLVE to win, to conquer, to FINISH STRONG.  

By His grace, You CAN and you WILL... 

I Can't Believe I'm About to Say This, But... #Winning

"When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD;
He brought me into a spacious place.

The LORD is on my side; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?


The LORD is with me; He is my Helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD
Than to trust in man.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD
Than to trust in princes.

All nations surrounded me;
But in the Name of the LORD I cut them off.

They surrounded me on every side;
But in the Name of the LORD I cut them off.

They swarmed around me like bees
But they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns;
In the Name of the LORD, I cut them off.

I was pushed back and about to fall,
But the LORD helped me.

The LORD is my Strength and my Defense
And has become my Salvation...

I will not die, but live,
And will tell what the LORD has done."

(Psalm 118:5-14;17)

Lessons From Rehab #4: NEVER OVERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY

"The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming,

but on our own readiness to receive him;

Not on the chance of his not attacking,

but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."

- Sun Tzu

Yesterday we realized the importance of the principle, "Never Underestimate Your Enemy."  Today I will say that the opposite is also true: never OVERestimate your enemy either.  Remember, success requires that we walk in the truth, and what is the truth?  Truth is simply, reality.  Honesty.  Calling things what they are.  So while it may be true that my enemy is strong and able to "overpower me," that does not mean he has "power over" me.

He might be able to you overpower you, but he does not have power over you...unless you give it.

If you haven't done so yet, name them.  Name your opponents.  Maybe your enemy is fear.  Maybe it is anger.  Maybe it is lack of trust, gossip, a lying tongue, pride, jealousy, greed, lust, unhealthy or destructive habits.  Maybe, if you're like me, you have a whole string of opponents lining up one by one to take you down.  Though these opponents may have the strength to overpower you, but they do not have to have power over you.  They only have the power you give them.

In Matthew 4:1-11, when Jesus was being tempted by Satan in the wilderness, Satan tried to take power over Jesus.  How did he attempt this?  By telling Jesus to do four things:

1. Forget Who Your Father Is  ("If you are the Son of God...")

2. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands ("...tell these stones to become bread.")

3. Throw Yourself Down

4. Bow to me

Do you see it?  The only power Satan had was the ability to influence Jesus to give up or give in.  He had to get Jesus to concede HIS strength in order to have the ability to overpower Him.  You are stronger than you think.

"IF you are the Son of God..."

Today, know who your Father is.  IF you are a son or daughter of God, THEN the enemy has no power over you; he can only overpower you when:

You forget who you are and whose you are.

You try to take matters into your own hands rather than walking in God's time and God's way.

You throw yourself down (give up or give in). 

You bow to the enemy, letting him become your master.

Jesus told us that if we are going to enter His kingdom, we must become like little children.  One thing that kids LOVE to say is, "You're not the boss of me!"  Or even better, "You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my father!"  Today, when the enemy tries to sneak up and lure us to bow, to concede our strength and authority as sons and daughters of God, let us fight with the guts of a child and remind him:

"You're not the boss of me.  You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my Father."

If you are feeling weary, weak and overpowered today, rest in the strength of your Father ("My Dad's bigger than your dad!" :)  Remember that HE is your Ally and not your enemy.  HE is for you and not against you.  Acknowledge that those opponents in your life are strong; don't underestimate them.  But don't overestimate them either - they are not the boss of you.  

In Psalm 42, David wrote: "Why are you downcast, O my soul?  And why are you disquieted within me?  Hope in God!  For yet shall I praise Him, the hope of my countenance and my God."  It's as if the Psalmist, though suffering, had a sobering moment and asked himself, "What are you crying about?  REMEMBER JESUS!"  

Remember Jesus.  You are not alone.  Mark 1:13 says that when Jesus was in the wilderness, being tempted by Satan and with the wild beasts, "angels were ministering to Him."  He was not alone... and you are not alone.  He is with you.  He is ALWAYS still with you (Ps. 139:18).

"The Lord is on my side; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

The Lord is with me; He is my helper.

I will look in triumph on my enemies."

- Psalm 118:6-7

Lessons From Rehab #3: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY

"Know your enemy and know yourself 
and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster."

- Sun Tzu

It is often said in church circles, "Don't give the devil too much credit," and I would agree.  But I would also say the opposite is true: don't give him too little credit either.  Whether the "opponents" in your life are Satan himself, or other issues, habits and problems, be careful that you don't underestimate them.  Don't belittle them.  Don't "just..." them:

"I'll just have one (more) drink..."

"It's just a movie; it's not like I'm doing it."

"I'll just put it on my credit card.  I'll pay it off right away."

"Oops, guess I blew that.  I'll just start over tomorrow."

If you struggle with boundaries in sexuality, then don't put yourself in situations where it feels nearly impossible to say "No."  If you struggle with alcohol, don't belittle the power of "just one drink."  If you have "kicked the habit" in some area of your life, don't buy into the lie of "just one last time" or "I'll start over tomorrow."

The ancient military master Sun Tzu says it this way: "Carefully compare the opposing army with your own, so that you may know where strength is superabundant and where it is deficient."  

The principle of "Never Underestimate Your Enemy" is not a matter of living out a defeatist mentality.  It is a matter of facing reality.  Truth is simply, reality.  There is positive truth, and there is negative truth, but either way, if it is real, if it is honest, then it is true.  Learning not to underestimate our enemies means learning to say what is true of them.  It means calling it like it is and acknowledging their level of strength.  It means not belittling them or demeaning them, but admitting it: I have an enemy, and it is powerful.  I have met my match.


NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY:


"The general who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand.  Thus do many calculations lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat: how much more no calculation at all!  It is by attention to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose." (Sun Tzu)

In Job 1:6-7, we see that when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, "Satan came also among them."  Then, "The Lord said to Satan, 'From where have you come?'  Then Satan answered the Lord and said, 'From roaming about on the earth and walking to and fro on it.'"  My dad often encourages me by reminding me, "God is always working."  It's true that God is always working - and so is Satan.  So, expect attack.  Expect that when you feel strong, he will hunt for a way to make you weak.  Expect that when you feel weak, he will find a way to take advantage of that weakness.  Even Jesus was not exempt:

"And He was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan; and He was with the wild animals..." (Mark 1:13)

In the wilderness.   Being tempted by Satan.  With the wild animals.

Never underestimate your enemy.  


Expect attack.  


Be prepared for him.  

WHEN temptation comes, don't be caught off guard or be deceived into rationalizing it or "just"-ing it.  Call it what it is.  RESPECT it.  Then prepare AHEAD of time to win.  If it is stronger than you, then don't arm wrestle with it.  The best way to beat an MMA fighter is not to get in the cage with him in the first place.

"Be alert and of sober mind. 

 Your enemy the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour.

Resist him, standing firm in the faith...

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

After you have suffered a little while,

Will Himself restore you and make you strong,

firm and steadfast."

- 1 Peter 5:8-10  

Lessons From Rehab #2: KNOW YOUR ALLIES

"Joab said, 'If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me.  But if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will help you.  Be strong, and let us use our strength for our people and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to Him."  (1 Chronicles 19:12-13)

KNOW YOUR ALLIES:

Just as it is important for us to "know our enemies" in life, it is equally as important to know our allies.  These are our lifelines - those people, places, things, songs, verses, etc. that have a sort of saving grace to them when we feel like we are slipping.  The thing about allies is that you have to make them and you have to use them in order for them to be of any benefit.  You have to build some sort of relationship through which you can reach out and ask for help.  Sometimes we are just sitting around waiting for others to come "find" us and "fix" us when we're struggling, but in reality, we have to learn the humility to speak up, reach out and ask for help.   

These allies may be people in your life that are a source of restoration to you.  For instance, I have a certain group of girl friends (scattered all around the U.S., nonetheless) that have become more than friends, but sisters to me.  In fact, I like to call them my "Drinking Buddies," not because we go out getting wasted all the time, but because when God pours a certain "cup" for me to drink in life, these are the ones that will make sure I'm not drinking alone.  Whether in sorrow or in joy, I know I'm not alone.  

When stuck in a rut after months of heartbreak, one of these girls started trying to teach me how to dance (hip hop) just because she knew it would make me laugh (it did)...LIFELINE.  

When I'm about to make a really stupid decision, or my heart is "running away with me" and leaving my head in the dust, another of these friends has the gift of "talking me down from the ledge."  She helps me to think through what is the wise thing to do, what is the right thing at the right time in the right way...LIFELINE.  

Every one of these girls have a special way of telling me the truth (like it or not); of reminding me who I am, what I am capable of, what GOD is capable of and all the good that life still holds for me...LIFELINES.

In too many ways to count, they are a "saving grace" to me, from the Master Himself.  We need people we can call and be honest with; those people to whom we can admit:

I'm losing it.

I want to cut myself.

I got drunk again this morning.

I went too far on my date last night.

I cannot stop looking at these websites.

My parents are talking about a getting a divorce.

I don't know where my life is going, and I'm feeling hopeless.

Whatever your "enemy" is, remember that you also have allies.  Consider that "Allies" can be:

1. People - "Drinking Buddies" :)

2. Places - literally, "safe places," where you can not only "escape," but find rejuvenation.  (Church, coffee shops, bookstores, the gym, parks, nature trails, the beach, favorite spots that have a restorative nature for you).

3. Songs - We all have them: "Oh, this is my song!"  Music can be an ally in that it fills us with hope, strength and the ability to endure when we feel weak.  Whether individual songs or kick-butt playlists, fill your heart, mind and spirit with strength.  Make an ally of your itunes.

4. Scriptures - "The Word of God is living and active."  It really is!  Whether you love reading the Bible for hours or finding one verse in a few minutes, you WILL find an ally in the Word of God... IF you read it.  Scripture is full of the best EVER pep-talks, locker room speeches, words of comfort, truth, correction, hope and LIFE.  READ IT.

5. Spiritual Disciplines - Sabbath, Silence, Rest, Prayer, Worship, Fasting, Scripture Reading... these all have a redemptive and restorative power in our lives.  Spiritual disciplines are not your enemy, they are your ally.  This is not a "should" issue, it's a "life" issue.  It's not that you "should" do these things, but that if you do them, you will find strength, truth and life.  

6. SAVIOR...

The greatest Ally of all is God Himself.  So often when we're struggling, we feel like God is suddenly against us, opposed to us.  This is called "the wages of sin."  Sin tells us that we don't belong with God.  Salvation tells us, "Yes you do."  So a Savior set out to make a way for us when we were separated.  He took care of it; "it is finished."  When the wages of sin (weakness, failure, struggles) tell you that you don't belong with God, or that you have to "fix" yourself before returning to Him, remember again that, "while we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us."  Greatest Ally EVER.  We messed up, and He said, "I've got this."  Do not allow yourself to be deceived into thinking that because you are less than perfect, you don't belong with Him.  It is BECAUSE you are less than perfect that He came for you.

HE CAME FOR YOU... 

LIFELINE.

Today if you need the strength of an Ally, find John 14-17 and read it... best pep talk from Jesus in the whole Bible.  Read it and re-read it.  Then remember that God is for you and not against you.  Remember it:

GOD IS FOR YOU AND NOT AGAINST YOU.

He is your Ally, not your enemy.

Today, if you feel like you are sinking: speak up, reach out and ask for help.  You are not alone...

"Who rises up for me against the wicked?

Who stands up for me against evildoers?

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, 'My foot slips,' Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

- Psalm 94:16-19

Lessons From Rehab #1: KNOW YOUR ENEMY

When girls came to Teen Challenge, one of the first things we would do together in a counseling session was set goals through a treatment plan.  Ah, goal-setting.  What is it about setting goals that makes us feel like a failure before we even start?  It's as if the moment we start writing them down (or maybe we don't even get that far), something inside of us sighs, "I can't do this.  I want to do this, but I know I won't."  Then we sort of saunter off in a defeated "whatever" mentality, comforting ourselves with whatever makes us feel good at the moment and helps us to forget that we are, yet again, settling for less than we are capable of and far less than we were created to be.  

Been there.

Done that.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

Yes, it often is this way.  But it doesn't have to be.  What is the difference between the two?  Between winning and losing?  Between succeeding and settling?  Well, in the famous words from our friends at Nike: "Just Do It."  We can know all the right information but if we don't do it and keep doing it, we are destined to fail every single time.  Notice I didn't only say "do it," but I said "keep doing it."  If there is anything I have learned after 8 years working in recovery, it is that consistency is key.  Drs. Cloud and Townsend (of Boundaries, Helping People Grow, etc.) say it like this: "Learn to trust the growth process."  Trust it.  That means do it and keep doing it even when you don't see the results you want to see when you want to see them.  TRUST the process and KEEP doing what you know to do in the mean time.

If we are going to succeed in succeeding, then we have to start with Step One.  Step One in any 12-Step program is often misquoted as "Admit You Have a Problem."  But this actually is not the first step in the 12 Steps.  Admitting you have a problem is right-on.  For sure, you've got to come to a point of being able to say, "I have a problem with this..." but we've got to take it further.  Step One goes on to say something much more profound; something much harder to confess than, "I have a problem."  Step One involves "Admitting Powerlessness."  Step One says I have a problem, AND I admit that this thing is stronger than me.  I admit that if I were to get into an arm-wrestling match with this issue, it would beat me every time.  This is not a depressing, defeating place to be.  There is wisdom in calling things what they are; victory can only be found when we truly, undeniably know our opponent.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY:

Paul might call it a "thorn in the flesh."  Psychology may term them your "issues."  Greek mythology would label it your "Achilles Heel."  Achilles was known to be invincible; an undefeated and undefeatable warrior.  But he met his own death when Achilles was struck in the heel by the tip of a poisoned arrow.  "Oh how the mighty have fallen..."  Wikipedia describes the contemporary phrase, "Achilles heel," as a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall.  

What is (are) your Achilles heel(s) in life?

When the girls at TC first filled out their treatment plans, we would stop at a section called "Problem Areas."  Here we would get real and ask for authenticity.  Take the mask off, drop the excuses and rationalizations and tell me: What are you here for?  What's the problem?  

As girls got courageous enough to tell the truth, they would begin to confess things in writing, things like: "Drugs.  Cutting myself.  Alcohol.  Sex.  Lying.  Anger.  Depression" and more.  Sometimes it was hard to name those things; always it was vulnerable.  But we did it; together, we did it.  We decided we were going to work together toward a new life, a better life, and that meant we had to start with one thing: naming our enemies.  If she was going to succeed, each student had to call it what it is, to put a name to it and determine to overcome.  We didn't defeat their "issues" in a day, a month, or even in that year or more the girls lived with us at TC.  In fact, I can tell you that every single one of those girls is still figuring out how to live the truths they learned at TC every day.  But many have come a long, LONG way from that first day when we sat down, pen in hand with a treatment plan and asked the question, "So what's the problem?"  

We named it.

The road to a better life started when we named it.

I like to call this principle, "Know Your Enemy."  It's as simple as giving it a name.  It means that we stop belittling ourselves or our issues by pretending they don't exist or they don't matter.  We confess that they exist, we put a name to them, and we acknowledge that these things have the power to bring us to our knees, settling for less than who we truly are.  

Today, I will not tell you to be completely over your issues.  I will not tell you that you won't lose your temper again or that you will wake up tomorrow morning to discover you've magically lost those extra pounds that have been hounding you for years.  I will tell you that you can trust the growth process and you can move toward better one day at a time, one choice at a time, one success or even one failure at a time.  But it all starts with knowing your enemy.

King David knew his enemies.  When he failed, he did not deny it or rationalize it.  He called it what it was.  In Psalm 51 he confessed, "But I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me."  This is not a defeatist mentality: it is a wisdom.  He knew his weakness, he put a name to it and surrendered it to God, asking for help one day at a time.  

So to get started, today, know your enemy.  Name it.  What is the problem?  In your life, what has the power to cause you to settle for less than you were created to be?  Uncontrolled anger?  Unhealthy habits?  Relationships?  Boundaries?  Whatever it is, name it, and you are taking the first step in the right direction.

You CAN make it to February without having to say, "Oh well, I guess there's still next year."  

Just start with TODAY.

One day at a time, you CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who gives you strength.

Let's Skip the "I'll Do Better Next Year's"

While in Swaziland, I was asked to do a teaching for a community leadership program* on the challenge of "Re-Entry."  Re-entry is the idea of heading back into the "real world" after considerable time away in a group or community living atmosphere.  After 8 years with Teen Challenge, yeah, I guess I have a lot to say about re-entry, but I had never really compiled these thoughts on paper before.  The more I have looked them over, the more I've realized these are principles not only for success after rehab or discipleship programs, but for the daily grind that each of us face from day to day.  

So, over the next two weeks, I'll be posting these re-entry notes as daily principles for success in 2012 (and beyond).  Unfortunately, as usual, "it only works if you do it."  Whatever your goals or desires for 2012, I hope these are both inspirational and challenging truths for you in the first few weeks of this new year.  

Here's to not reaching February already moaning, "Oh well, I guess I'll do better next year."

You CAN make it to February.

Just start with today.

"Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,

CONTINUE to LIVE in Him."

- Colossians 2:6

*Global Leadership Academy is the internship extension of Children's Cup in Swaziland, southern Africa.  To find out more, visit www.childrenscup.org.