Lessons From Rehab #12: LOVE GOD FIRST, LOVE PEOPLE SECOND

Love God first; love people second.  These are what Jesus said are the first and second greatest commandments.  Love God first; love people second.

"Everything else hangs on this," He said.  The idea is that if my life is motivated by the law of Love, then my choices will be a natural outflow of that love.  Love makes obedience easy.  Love makes sacrifice easy.  Love makes commitment easy... ok, maybe easier.  A great example of this is Joseph in the book of Genesis, who, when tempted to sleep with his master's wife, responded by saying, "How could I do this thing and sin against my God and my master?"  Joseph loved God and loved people, and therefore he refused to sin about them.  Here's the thing with this principle:

Don't confuse the order.

Jesus' description of love as the greatest commandment is powerful, but sometimes we just stop at love in general as the motivating force for our actions.  Jesus went a step beyond that; He got specific.  He placed an intentional order here, and the order is this:

Love God FIRST.

Love people SECOND.

If you confuse the order, if you love people first and love God second, you miss the point.  "Everything else hangs on this..."  Our love for people hangs on our love for God.  We cannot love others, ourselves or even God rightly when we put people before Him.  This is a painful and challenging truth, because it's difficult at times to love Someone most when we can't see Him, hear Him, touch Him or feel Him.  I can see my dad.  I can talk to my mom.  I can hug my sister.  I can touch a friend.  When I have a husband and kids someday, I'm sure the challenge will be even greater: keep God first.

But if we truly love our families, our friends and the other people in our world, we will commit to loving God above them all.  In so doing, we will know HIS love, no longer just human love, and HIS love will empower us to love like He loves, to love well, completely and fully, to the end.  

Is there anyone in your life today that you have been loving more than God?  

What would it look like to set your affection on Him first and others second?

Beauty Remains

"The pain passes, but the beauty remains."

 - Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Tonight some of my fellow grad students and I started talking about stress and feeling overwhelmed, juggling school, work, family, church, recreation, etc.  Although I'm typically an open book, I have tried to maintain a certain level of discretion with my classmates so far, I guess in an attempt to maintain professionalism.  Instead, tonight I finally shared the struggles I was having with leaving TC, going to Africa and back, and diving into a whole new season of identity and purpose that are quite a distance from where I was just 2 months ago.  Being a student again is fulfilling, but it does not feel very rewarding; at least not right now.  I have glimpses of where I want to be, what I want to do ahead; yet even these things are unanswered and carry question marks and problems of their own, and the more I think it all through (which in my perfectionist mindset I do, CONSTANTLY), the more powerless I feel; the more I realize I don't have answers, I don't have solutions, I don't have the slightest clue where certain finances and resources are going to come from, and I have absolutely no idea how God is going to piece together all these things for His glory.

As I was sharing with my classmates tonight, these words slipped out of my mouth:

"It's like He just dumped all these beautiful things in my lap, and I want to build something with them.  He gave me these beautiful things, and then He told me not to touch them."

I hadn't really let myself "go there" yet, but this is really what I've been struggling with since coming home from Africa.  God is awakening beautiful things in my heart and spirit.  He's blessed with me people I love, people I long to be with - people I long to be with NOW.  These yearnings in my heart to do unique things for the Kingdom and with people, I want to do it NOW.  I want to learn, I want to do school, but I also desperately want to get past all of this and "back to my purpose."  

It's not like I've never heard or thought about or even championed the idea of "enjoying the journey."  Oh, I have.  But, truly in keeping with this season of risk and faith, God is really making me live this on a whole new level of personal experience.  It's easy to enjoy the journey when the journey is enjoyable.  But what about when the journey is full of roadblocks, detours, congested traffic, yellow lights and stop signs?  I just want the green light, but it's like every time I turn around, He's telling me to stop and fill my tank again.  I know in my head that this is good, but in my heart, I just want to go...

In this moment, God is speaking to me - vaguely, quietly - about those "beautiful things" He has landed in my lap.  He's telling me to stop focusing so much on building something with them, and instead, for now, just let myself be beautified by them.  In essence, He's whispering: "Don't touch them, Tara.  Let them touch you."  

I know I am gaining experience, skills and knowledge in this season that will be of immeasurable worth a year or two from now.  But right now, this beauty is pain.  It's painful paying for summer classes when I'd sooo much rather run off to Africa again (I literally think of the cost of courses in terms of flights to Africa).  It's painful not having solutions, answers or roadmaps to help me wrap my mind around what this is all going to look like two years from now.  It's painful working and going to school, working and going to school, working and going to school... then coming home to read textbooks all night, and... working and going to school, working and going to school...  It's fulfilling, I enjoy it, but it's painful.  It's painful because I'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else, and God is asking me to be here today - be ALL here today.

Lord,

Be my grace today.  In this season I want to be beautified.  If You will not let me build right now, then will You do one thing for me?  Will You build me?  I want to run ahead of you and hurry this up, but You just love keeping that lamp at my feet - one step at a time.  I have a feeling it will always be this way; that no matter how much I accomplish, You are always going to be bringing me back to this same lesson, this lesson of being.  So grace me, not to learn it, but to live it.  To be it - to be the beauty of Your life in me, regardless of meaning or purpose in my own understanding.  I want to be like You, even in this - more like You, always more.  Help me to just hold these beautiful things and transform me as they soak into my very life.  "I need Thee, oh, I need Thee.  Every hour I need Thee..."

Lessons From Rehab #11: REMEMBER, HE'S WITH YOU

Do you ever just need a really good pep talk?  I do.  Sometimes I find myself trudging through life like the losing team, trailing behind at half-time.  I'm hiding in the locker room while my head hangs low, and what I really need more than anything is someone to give me one good locker room speech and whip me back into shape.  Well, guess what?  

Jesus is AWESOME at pep talks.

There are certain "go to" chapters and verses I've found in the Bible that speak life to me in ways that no one else ever could.  I find that when I read the words of Jesus, when I bring my own struggle into the midst of them, and I let HIM speak to ME - not just all of those "first hearers" - but ME... here, I find the greatest pep talks a girl could ever ask for.  Other people could try telling me the exact same thing, and I just don't hear it, but somehow when HE says it, there is power, there is life, and I believe it is true again.  I believe He is with me.  I believe I can do all things through Him.  I believe there is hope - there is always still hope.  

When HE says it, I believe it.

He's trustworthy.  He's "been there, done that."  He's been through immeasurable suffering, to the death, and come out alive.  And He can do the same in you.  

He hasn't left you alone.

He hasn't dropped you off on the curb.

He hasn't forgotten you in that locker room.

You are not abandoned.

Today, spend some time having a good pep talk from Jesus.  He knows what you need.  He knows where you are.  He knows where you're going.  If you don't know how or where to start, find a locker room of your own, an "alone space," and read through John 14-17.  Best pep talk from Jesus EVER.  

As you look to HIM today, remember...

"I am not abandoned."

"I will not leave you as orphans;

I will come to you."

- John 14:8

Lessons From Rehab #10: Don't Forget to Eat

There's a beautiful story found in Mark 5 - one of my favorites, actually.  A father named Jairus is scouring through crowds of people to find Jesus.  Jairus' daughter is dying, and He pleads with Jesus to come heal her.  Jesus leaves the crowd for this one little girl, but when He gets to her house, she has already died.  In the house, He finds a room full of mourners who laugh at Him when He tells them, "The girl is not dead, but asleep."  As the people laugh at Him, Jesus moves into the bedroom of this child, speaks to her, "Talitha koum," which is Aramaic, meaning, "Little girl, I say to you, arise."  The girl immediately comes back to life, and everyone is filled with great joy.  

It's an awe-inspiring story.

Unfortunately when reading the Bible, though, we tend to stop short at "awe-inspiring."  We love the miracles, the goosebumps, the "everyone was astonished" moments.  But one of the best parts of this story comes after the Jesus-whisper of "Talitha koum..."  After the miracle and the goosebumps, Mark wraps up chapter 5 by making sure to record that after all these awe-inspiring things, Jesus "told them to get her something to eat," (v. 43).  

And then He told them to get her something to eat...

Apparently Jesus didn't want to have to come back next week and raise this girl from the dead again because she starved to death.  He knew that if she was going to come back to life and stay alive, she had to eat.  She had to do practical things to take care of the miracle she'd been given.  She had to remember to eat.

Like this little girl, maybe you have a deathbed or two in your life, as well.  Maybe you have risen, or attempted to rise, on occasion before.  Whatever you are rising up to today, don't forget to eat.  "Eating" may signify taking care of yourself physically - things that restore you and refresh you, like food, rest or recreation.  It may signify practical steps you need to take in order to follow through with good things in your life.  Maybe "eating" refers to eating of God's Word, the Bread of Life; living on His presence and truth in daily life.  

Two nights ago, I laid in bed with my Bible on my lap, feeling powerless and overwhelmed.  I'm working incredibly hard to learn and grow in new ways, so hard, in fact, that I barely notice I am putting way too much trust in myself and not nearly enough trust in the Lord.  As I opened up to where I left off in 2 Chronicles 26, I read about a king named Uzziah, and two statements hit me like a slap in the face.  It read:

"...As long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper... But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction.  For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God." (vv. 5, 16)

Today I am painfully overwhelmed... like, breaking-point overwhelmed.  I have so many questions that God isn't answering.  I have major decisions to make with no clear sign of what is the right thing to do, the wise thing, the God thing.  I don't know.  The only answer I have is "I don't know."  I have risen to some extreme challenges, to new life, this year, and now that it's here, I don't know what to do.  And as I read these verses tonight, I'm reminded:

Don't forget to eat.

When I am feeling overwhelmed, confused and out of control, a typical common denominator is that I am somehow leaving God out of the equation, or at least out of the process.  I'm not including Him, not seeking Him, not pursuing Him like my life depends on it.  And the truth is that my life does depend on it.  I need Him.  I NEED Him.  Oh, I need Him.

My own challenge this week is "don't forget to eat."  I've made a lot of things high priorities in this new year so far - studying, reading textbooks, getting projects done, going to class, going to work (all 3 jobs), working out, going to church, squeezing in time for family and friends if I can find a spare minute (it's really not supposed to be this way).  And in the midst of it all, devotion to Jesus has been an after-thought.  He's in my heart, my mind, my spirit, I carry Him with me always... but I have not sought Him.  He has been squeezed into bits and pieces of my day.  

I am nibbling when I should be feasting;

        When my life depends on it.

Life depends on it.  Life itself depends on the priority of Christ over every other thing.  So I suppose tonight I am just sharing with you a challenge that is very much my own... don't forget to eat.  Eat of Him, eat of His Word, eat of His presence.  Feed on the life and truth of God regularly.  You - and I - cannot survive without Him.  

So today, whatever that means for you - whether practically, physically, emotionally, socially or spiritually, don't forget to eat.  

Life depends on it.

"And as long as he sought the LORD, God made him prosper."